How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage...

"Hey guys, AI is pretty big so let's centre our prizes on it this year. We can get some attention, and it's all about advertising, at the end of the day, isn't it?"

"Where can we shoehorn it in? Chemistry is easy 'cos AlphaFold; but what about physics? A bit more challenging, right?"

There you go.^†

Why do people keep denying the similarities between Latin and Italian by saying they are totally different languages when it’s obvious they sound similar?

Why wait any longer for the one you love?

"Good point, I'm sure we can swing it. And let's tack on Hopfield while we're about it."

Whatever.

Has anyone tried bestiality and been caught?

^* Fibiger got the 1926 Medicine prize for the discovery of Spiroptera carcinoma (Don’t ask).

[Older voice] "Mmm. What about Hinton, he's widely regarded? Nobody got fired for buying IBM"

In December 1973, when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, comedian Tom Lehrer dropped his mic and stamped on it—satire had just died.

Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?

"Naah, Linnainmaa is a Finn. Can't give it to a bloody Finnish mathematician. Let's go for drinks. Brännvin anyone?"

[The basic structure of artificial neural networks] has close similarities with spin models in statistical physics applied to magnetism or alloy theory. This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics recognizes research exploiting this connection to make breakthrough methodological advances in the field of ANN.

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?

Why is Eric Clapton so roundly disliked among guitarists?

"Didn't he do something with Boltzmann in it? That sounds physics-y. RBMs and stuff, eh?"

"Good idea, but how can we wangle something that says 'Physics'?"

Fortunately, we are privy to the discussion that led up to this:

If you’re an atheist, what would be your motive in spreading atheism, and why would you care what others believe?

^† They rationalise their decision thusly:

In awarding prizes, the Nobel Committees often seem only marginally more competent than MTG is at explaining meteorology. And if they can give a literature prize for lyrics like:

[Younger voice] "But wait a minute, Ising-Lenz goes back to the 1920's. And didn't Hinton plagiarise rather a lot? He also didn't invent modern backprop, did he, that's Linnainmaa? And Amari preceded Hopfield, too. That's not a good look."

My boyfriend always verbally abuse me and makes me cry. If I try to tell him how hurt I was, he says to me he loves me and can't hurt me but always abuse me. Why?

When he's standing, in front of you

Whatever.

They then move on to selectively provide their own version of history. But hey, it’s OK. They wanted controversy, didn’t they? Whatever.

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

… then anything is possible. There’s no rule that a Nobel Prize has to make sense.^*

(Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize for Literature, 2016)

(Mumbles of assent)

If we do not know the name of the father of a child, e.g. a foundling, an illegitimate, etc., then to whom should the bin or the binti of the child's name be applied?

You can have your cake and eat it too

My 11 million SEK, Dr Jo.

A fly on the wall at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences